National Bullying Prevention Strategy

The World Health Organization (WHO) has decreed bullying a “global social health problem”. It has reached epidemic proportions. A 2009 WHO report rated Canada 26th out of 35 developed nations surveyed. As a nation, we have spent millions of dollars with no decrease in the reported statistics. As everyone is aware, bullying has direct criminal, mental, educational and physical health implications. As far as "bullying" is concerned, it's just a catch phrase for assault, harassment and stalking, and it is time our youth are provided with the same basic human rights that adults benefit from. Parents expect a great deal from their Education system and one basic need is to know that their child is safe at school. Student safety = student achievement. When parents send their children to school, temporary custody of their child is handed over. Unfortunately, school boards have complete autonomy and are accountable to no one because at the end of the day they are self governing corporations administering their own set of politics. There is a percentage of bullying situations that take way too long to get resolved and I have met countless parents, nation wide, that get stone-walled at every level when trying to keep their children safe at school. There seems to be a disconnect not only at local levels, but across the country. Mr. Morin's recent motion on Parliament Hill is a good one. At this point in time, a Federal Prevention Strategy is necessary as we are still losing our youth to suicide as a result of adult failure. It would certainly support The National Crime Prevention Centre looking to fund initiatives that deal with school based bullying? "Priority Issue The NCPC is currently seeking to fund projects involving the implementation of specified model and promising programs designed to address the following priority issues: § Violence among youth ages 12 to 17 years; § Aboriginal youth delinquency in urban centres; and § School-based bullying." I would appreciate your thoughts on Mr. Morin's motion.

The start of school is just around the corner. Some parents and students are already becoming anxious. Here is what parents really need to know about keeping their children safe at school. We are tired of reading articles in our local papers directed to parents on how to raise their children and prevent them from becoming targets of bullies. We recognize that not all parents are educated, and some are lacking in parenting skills. But, for the most part we would like to think that parents do assist their children in building self-esteem and social skills. Becoming victimized doesn't necessarily have anything to do with a victim's level of self esteem or lack thereof. It's often the intent of the bully to break it! This kind of message sets up kids to be blamed for being victimized and the real issue not being addressed is the aggressor's lack of self esteem, issues and supports. We are further extremely dismayed with a statement made by Stu Auty, President of the Canadian Safe School Network. "Go up the food chain……You'll find over time the situation will be looked after.” While we recognize that there are most likely certain entities that Mr. Auty must protect, he has just disrespected every child, and their family, who have gone through months or years of a bullying situation without any resolve. This is a reality for many families in Ontario. So we ask why we never see journalistic pieces such as below. How parents can REALLY take on bullying If your child is being bullied we recommend the following: We recognize that this is an emotionally charged process. We ask that you use respectful language in your letters and conversations with school representatives. Calm, level headed communication achieves results. Keep a detailed log of who you spoke to including date, time, name(s), conversation highlights. This is imperative. Use the following guide to contact personnel in order as outlined. If you reach the last item on this list with no resolution - contact us. There are no skipping steps. Successful resolution requires working with established protocols. 1. Teacher 2. Vice Principal/Principal - Ask for a safety plan to be created for your child. 3. Superintendent of the school 4. Safe School Superintendent (only some school boards) 5. School Safety Officer - If need be get a restraining order against aggressor. 6. Elected trustee 7. Elected MPPs 8. If you child’s bullying is due to one of the following reasons: gender, race, orientation, religion, disability (differently abled) contact your Ontario Human Rights Tribunal and request an application. Our schools are bound by The Human Rights Convention and as such must be accountable to that office. 9. If you have a complaint regarding a teacher or administrator of your school/board please file a complaint with the Ontario Teachers College. 10. Ombudsman’s Office - Boards of Education do not form part of the Ombudsman’s portfolio. However, we have recently learned from his office that for statistical purposes they will accept a school complaint and keep record without conducting an investigation. This information is then published in the O’s Annual Report. Before the expansion of the Ombudsman’s power can take place, the number of recorded complaints needs to increase. 11. Share your story with the media. 12. Legal advice - sue in Small Claims Action suit. What children need to learn growing up is that every person is unique and they need to understand and accept differences in people, both physical and emotional. This education needs to carry on in our schools, not just at home. This is all about changing the cultures in our schools and it begins with our Principals, the very individuals our Education Act sites are responsible for the safety of all students. Until then, supporting and protecting our victims is crucial and mandatory. We should not have to go through the “food chain.” Unfortunately, this is not always the case. And while we understand a number of bullying situations are handled well, there is a reason anti-bullying coalitions in this province are being organized. We don’t need to read articles on how to raise our children. We need to learn how to advocate on behalf of them. This is where a parent needs to be educated.

My name is Karen Sebben, and together with my son, we are the co-founders of the York Region Anti-Bullying Coalition. I will get straight to the point. Aggression between our students takes place because adults allow it to. Whether it is a child’s parent, teacher or school administrator, the job of keeping youth safe is ours. On that first day of kindergarden, we drop them off at school and entrust the emotional, academic, and physical well-being of our children to complete strangers. We do this because giving our children an education falls within the natural order of things, and therefore we just trust. We also do this because the law says we must educate our youth. Raising a child does not come with an instruction manual. We use our best judgment and experiences from the past to do the best that we can. I taught my boys empathy, compassion, respect and manners, but when I was faced with a situation where the parents of other children did not do the same, I found myself in a dilemma. When my youngest was in grade 8, we found ourselves in a situation where the adults in control were non-reactive or receptive to a situation that my son found himself at the receiving end of. He was bullied by the same five peers for three school years. The reason this took place is because policy wasn’t worth the paper it was written on, policy was interpreted to protect our administrators, and the consequences chosen did not change the negative behaviour of his aggressors. My son who was fourteen at the time could not understand why adults did not feel he was worth protecting. He is 21 years old today and if you ask him what stands out the most during those three years he will tell you he doesn’t care about the five boys that pursued him so aggressively. He will tell you that he doesn’t trust adults. The very people I taught him to go to help for if I was not around. My son turned to cutting his skin and self-medication because adults didn’t do their job. There is no accountability built into our educational system. How can there be when tax -paying parents are up against the big business of unions. My son was not identified as an LGBT youth, yet he was suicidal. What explicit protections will be built into this legislation to protect a child like him? Would a child like him have the same benefits as a LGBT youth through an alliance? Is anyone suggesting that he was not at great risk for being bullied because he wasn’t LGBT? Yet he suffered terribly for three years, was diagnosed with post traumatic stress which ultimately lead to social development and mental health issues, the same issues that a child who identifies as being LGBT might have. Would he have received the same legal counsel that Mr. Elliott is providing this clearly defined group of youth? How dare anyone suggest that one child’s existence is more important than that of another child based on category? Do any of you on this committee actually know what it feels like to exist on a daily basis wondering if your child will take his life while you are at work? What’s even worse, as a parent you kept sending him into a battle zone without protection of any kind. If you did, only then would you really realize what any kind of anti-bullying legislation should look like. I have watched, read and listened to what has transpired in the House over the past few months, and I am ashamed to be an Ontarian. Unless you have been in our shoes, or the shoes of a parent who has lost a child to suicide because of being bullied, I respectfully submit you have no idea. My colleague, Corina Morrison, presented earlier today. We are like minded, on the same page, and I do not want to repeat here what Mrs. Morrison had to say. One thing must be understood. Families like mine in the Province of Ontario are finding each other. This is taking place because the system has failed us miserably. We are growing in numbers, our voices are growing stronger and we will no longer tolerate being marginalized tax payers. We are hard working, tax-paying citizens who have the absolute right to be heard and not brushed off by our Government. Just to recap, anti-bullying legislation must include supports for all involved, including readily available resources for those whom we entrust our children to, data collection to see what actually works and to ensure fiscal responsibility of spending our hard earned tax dollars, detailed prevention and safety plans, community education, a clear definition for bullying including duty of care, non-categorizing of our youth, because they are all at risk, and finally, supports for all involved, and accountability to those whom the system fails.

Anti-Bullying Legislation

SAFE SCHOOL ADVOCATES DEMAND EFFECTIVE ANTI- BULLYING LEGISLATION


It is vital to the success of our education system and the well being of generations of children and young adults to reduce the incidence and impact of bullying. Without informed decision-making and effective legislation, every Ontario student remains at risk. The following are key points for effective change:

1. ALL ENCOMPASSING
Safeguards need to be written into the Education Act that would prevent students from being harmed by all acts of bullying including, but not limited to, homophobic acts, and, especially, those acts carried out by adults in positions of authority within the system. These must apply to all members of school communities
2. EASY ACCESS TO INFORMATION
Students, families and all members of the public or school community must have easy and equal access to information that is provided to school boards as a means to assist in dealing with bullying incidents, including instructional material, data, definitions and policies.
3. TRACKING AND REPORTING
Improved data collection, tracking and reporting, and follow-up when students are withdrawn from schools or boards is needed to truly understand the impact of bullying and to make effective changes.
4. SUPPORT FOR ALL
Damage caused by bullying has a wide reach and affects all parties, including victim(s), perpetrator(s) and their families. Early intervention is critical and school boards should be held both morally and financially responsible for providing necessary counseling, especially in cases where issues are allowed to remain unresolved and damage reaches critical levels.
5. COMPREHENSIVE POLICY FOR ALL SCHOOLBOARDS
One overarching and comprehensive policy for all of Ontario’s school boards would do away with inconsistencies, confusion and too little accountability. Boards would be held to compliance and students would be kept as safe as possible, as failure to comply would bring consequences for those not fulfilling their job requirements.
6. THIRD PARTY OVERSIGHT
Autonomous school boards are not serving their students well enough as is evidenced by the increasing number of bullying related lawsuits against school boards. There is a clear need for consistent and effective third party oversight, such as the previously proposed extended jurisdiction of the Ombudsman.
7. INTEGRITY AND RESPONSIBILITY
The duty to report bullying incidents must apply even if the bully is an employee. There must be some form of legislation in place to protect employees who come forward in order to protect victims of bullying at the hands of teachers or other staff. ‘Whistleblower’ legislation would serve this purpose and allow for integrity and responsibility within teachers unions.
8. ABSOLUTE ACCOUNTABILITY
Wording in the Education Act and all school board policies must be decisive and reflect a genuine desire for accountability within Ontario’s school system. At present, phrasing most frequently allows all levels to opt out of action and accountability until student safety is dangerously compromised.

In conclusion, although we would like to be optimistic about the possibility of positive change with the tabling of Bills 13 and 14, instead we are concerned that Ontario families are about to begin a lengthy period of time with no real improvement in the area of bullying prevention and no possibility for such. There are two bills tabled, two bills that have some good ideas but two bills that don’t go far enough. We beseech all parties to work together and take time for careful consideration over the drafting of a final bill because, once passed, that bill will silence bullying issues for some time. Once a bill is passed, the government of the day can claim that there is no further need to look at bullying issues. They can claim they’ve already addressed the issues and that time is needed to see how effective the new legislation is…and that will likely amount to years. The students of Ontario cannot afford to have any more ineffective legislation passed. They cannot afford any further ‘bandaid’ approaches or ‘wait and see’ attitudes. Comprehensive and effective legislated changes to the Education Act are needed to ensure that this province is doing its’ very best to keep students safe in its’ schools. Bullying is abusive in nature and is a result of intolerance, inequity and misuses of power. In order to put an end to bullying and bullycide, we must implement an anti-oppressive framework. If we are to use legislation to help build this framework, the language must be concise and specific regarding bullying and peer abuse. To integrate the problem of bullying with other school-based issues would, in effect, put the issue of bullying on the back burner yet again. Our hope is to have a bill strictly devoted to anti-bullying for all students and to keep other issues of equality separate so that the bill’s purpose is not distorted, making it about political reputations or narrowing the bullying focus to issues of sexual orientation, instead of the safety and learning success of every single one of the children and youth in this province.

When Healthy Relationships Fail

The World Health Organization (WHO) has decreed that bullying is a “global social health problem” that has reached epidemic proportions. A 2009 WHO report rated Canada 26th out of 35 developed nations surveyed. As a nation, millions of our tax dollars has been spent on programs, education and resources, with no decrease in the number of children who suffer at the hands of their peers. In fact, our numbers in recent years have actually risen with five youth suicides in Ontario alone since the commencement of school this past September.

"The consequences for bullying are far less severe than the consequences of being bullied, and that's why so many participate in bullying rather than risk being the target."

This is a statement made by a 15 year old girl who suffered long-term aggression, both emotional and physical for four years from a group of young males. The operative word is “consequences”.

On November 30, 2011 two new pieces of legislation were introduced at Queens Park. Our Minister of Education, Laurel Broten, introduced “Bill 13 - Accepting Schools Act, 2011”, and Elizabeth Witmer, the former education critic for the PC Party introduced “Bill 14 - Anti-Bullying Act, 2011”

The purpose of any legislation is to provide a guideline to keep society in order. Law defines the limit of public conduct and determines what is allowed and not allowed in any person’s actions that impact another person. Laws are made to maintain public order, and control.

Some highlights of Bill 13 are that it promotes early intervention, supports for victims and ongoing training. Bill 14 highlights are a clear definition for bullying, early intervention, development of detailed school board prevention plans, provision of services for the victim and the aggressor, ongoing professional development, reporting of incidents and prompt investigations.

What both Bills fail to include is a clear and concise definition for “duty of care.”
We hand our children over to complete strangers every single day trusting that these adults will keep them safe. There is a presumed duty of care that these adults act towards others and the public with watchfulness, attention, caution and prudence. If the actions of our administrators do not meet this standard of care, those actions are considered to be negligent. The only reason a child suffers long-term aggression at the hands of their peers is because administrators have failed to take appropriate action. Our Education act states that it is the duty of the Principal to keep children safe. There is absolutely no excuse of any kind for a child to reach a point that they actually consider taking their own lives.

My child considered doing this for six months. For those same six months I sent him into a battle zone called school trusting that my principal would keep him safe. For three years he did not.

The perfect legislation would be a combination of both Bill 13 and 14. I encourage you to educate yourselves on what is taking place for the benefit of our most vulnerable. Both of these Bills can be viewed on the Ontario Legislature site. I will be presenting at committee hearings at Queens Park on both of these Bills prior to the third reading of Bill 13.

It all begins with parents enforcing healthy relationships. Teaching our children compassion, tolerance and empathy towards others is paramount. It ends with accountability on the part of adults and how they deal with a situation when our children fall off track.

My son and I are the co-founders of the York Region Anti-Bullying Coalition. We work hard at raising awareness on the issue of bullying. This issue is not one for families like mine alone. It is a community issue. After all.....it takes a village to raise a child. Please make this your issue as well.

Anti-bullying legislation

Ever since the Accepting Schools Act was introduced in the House, there has been article after article with a focus on the acceptance of gay-straight alliances. While we’re at it, why don’t we have a learning disabled alliance, or an alliance for children with physical disabilities. I am a firm believer that publicly funded schools must respect the rights and freedoms of all students, however this legislation has omitted the most important aspect of what is expected by parents when they drop their children off at school. Duty of care is a requirement that a person act toward others and the public with watchfulness, attention, caution and prudence that a reasonable person in the circumstances would. If a person’s actions do not meet this standard of care, then the actions are considered negligent.


I invite readers to satisfy themselves and compare the Accepting Schools Act to Bill 14, which actually has some teeth to it.


Our school boards are publicly funded, self-governing corporations. Our hard earned tax dollars support our schools. It is the sole responsibility of adults to curb the problem of bullying. A CEO of any corporation is responsible to its shareholders, yet the same cannot be said for our Boards of Education. The only reason a child suffers long-term aggression at the hands of their peers is because the adults in control are allowing it to continue. Our publicly funded school boards are the only corporations in existence where accountability does not exist. Ask yourself why.


We can have as many gay-straight or learning disabled alliances as we want, but this won’t induce some of our administrators from using their conscience or prevent them from interpreting policy in a way that would suit their needs. If you don’t believe this is actually taking place, just speak to any parent whose child suffered from long-term aggression at the hands of their peers. I have, and this folks is the common denominator. I can't tell you how many times I heard "my hands are tied". What does this actually mean?


As with any successful business, “if you don’t measure it, you can’t manage it”, which is very important at tracking what’s working and what isn’t. Sadly, this too is not taking place. Why - I've been told this would cost too much money. We have already spent 230 million in this province without any discernible change.


So, while we are teaching our kids inclusiveness, acceptance, compassion and empathy, we should be turning our focus to the adults within the system who are not doing their job.


I'm just saying.

System Changes Needed

Our Ministry of Education has invested 230 million dollars into the social issue of bullying, yet the numbers have not changed

What I mean when I say that is The World Health Organization (WHO) has decreed bullying a “global social health problem”. It has reached epidemic proportions. In fact, a 2009 WHO report rated Canada 26th out of 35 developed nations surveyed. Bullying has direct criminal, mental, educational and physical health implications. This is a societal problem and not just one for our Ministry of Education to tackle on it’s own.

It’s also time for systemic changes. There is a roadblock involved at the school board level right now, and it is as a direct result of the way our legislation is written. You may not be aware, but if a student has been suspended for bullying, that suspension can be challenged and examined. There is an appeal process. On the other hand, bullied pupils and their parents are not in a position to challenge the principal’s choice to not exercise suspension as a form of accountability. This is the roadblock my own family ran into.

It’s time to stop treating the bullies as faceless entities, and get to the source of their contempt and motive. It’s time to put into place further resources for their victims. It’s time to implement concrete supports for our bystanders so that they can find the courage to report, and stand up to say “not here, not now”. It is time to work together.

A recent report released by the Thames Valley District School Board has indicated that there is a direct link between bullying and mental health issues........for all involved. As a direct result of bullying, once happy, healthy and academically successful students turn into students with anxiety, depression and substance abuse. Now we have a bigger problem. Motivation and success slowly starts to slip away, and at great cost.

In Ontario all schools have to follow the Ministry of Education definition of bullying: “Bullying is typically a form of repeated, persistent and aggressive behaviour directed at an individual or individuals that is intended to cause (or should be known to cause) fear and distress and/or harm to another person’s body, feelings, self-esteem or reputation. Bullying occurs in a context where there is a real or perceived power imbalance.”

I don’t know how old that definition is, but experts now state that it doesn’t have to be a “repeated” act. Once, just once, is enough.

How many of you here today understand what a bully really is? Or, how many of you think being bullied is just a normal part of growing up. There are a number of misconceptions out there over those very two things.

First of all, our experts will tell you it’s not a normal part of growing up or a right of passage. It’s not an issue where you tell your kids “suck it up” or “ignore it”. It is an extremely serious health problem which will adversely affect a lot of people if you truly don’t understand the ramifications.

The Bully

There are four markers of bullying. They consist of an imbalance of power, intent to harm, threat of further aggression, and when that aggression escalates ....terror. Bullying is not about anger, or even about conflict. It’s about contempt, a feeling of dislike toward someone considered by the bully to be worthless, inferior or un-derserving of respect. Contempt comes with three apparent psychological advantages that allow kids to harm others without feeling empathy, compassion or shame. The bully can feel any one of the following three things:

1. A sense of entitlement, which is the right to control, dominate and abuse another human being.
2. An intolerance towards difference.
3. The liberty to exclude, bar or isolate a person deemed not worthy of respect or care.


The Bullied

There is one thing that all kids who are bullied have in common. This is that the bully or a bunch of bullies has targeted them. Each bullied child was singled out to be the object of scorn and the recipient of bullying, merely because he or she was different in some way.

As a parent, would you know what to look for in your child that might be a warning sign that your child is being bullied. Or, if you are a student who has been bullied, have you ever done any of the following things.

Here are some warning signs:

1. Shows an abrupt lack of interest in school, or refuses to go to school.
2. Takes an unusual route to school.
3. Suffers a drop in grades.
4. Withdraws from family and school activities.
5. Is hungry after school.
6. Steals money from home.
7. Makes a beeline for the bathroom when arriving home.
8. Is sad, sullen, angry or scared after receiving a phone call or e-mail.
9. Does something out of character.
10. Has torn or missing clothing.
11. Uses derogatory or demeaning language when talking about peers.
12. Has stomach aches, headaches, panic attacks and is unable to sleep, sleeps too much.

There is one other extremely important thing that bullied kids do. They don’t tell anyone that they are being targeted because they are:

1. ashamed
2. they are afraid of retaliation
3. they don’t think anyone can or will help them
4. they have bout into the lie that bullying is a necessary part of growing up
5. they might believe that adults are part of that lie because they bully too
6. “rating” on a peer is not cool

Now we have the bystander who many experts say plays the most important role

Bystanders are the third group of players in this tragedy. They are the supporting cast who aid and abet the bully. They stand idly by or look away, or they can actively encourage the bully or they join in and become one of a bunch of bullies. However, bullying is challenged when the majority of bystanders stand up against cruel acts. When this is done, a new norm will be established. Since much of the bullying goes on “under the radar of adults” a force to be reckoned with is the bystander showing bullies that they will not be looked up to, nor will their cruel behaviour be tolerated. They can become active witnesses standing up for their peers and speaking out against injustices, and taking responsibility for what happened amongst themselves.

If you are a parent who wants to inform their school of a bullying situation, there is protocol that must be followed. A chain of command for a lack of a better term. Visit your board website. Familiarize yourself with the Code of Conduct and Safe School Policy and of utmost importance, conduct yourself in a respectful and professional manner if you want your voice to be heard.

If your matter does not get resolved at the school board level, there are other options available. As a community, we must all work together.

I ask that you inform and educate yourself on this issue. Your child may not be a bully, a bystander, or victim now, but they could be some day. Have some open dialogue with your children on this issue at the dinner table some time.



Excerpts from The Bully, the bullied, and the bystander, by Barbara Coloroso